Boobs, Blessings, and Bilingual Blunders

WARNING to my Baptist kin and any current school parents: The immature kid who used to laugh at fart jokes is still alive and well inside my head—he just happens to live in a body that creaks when it stands up. If you want to keep thinking of me as a respectable principal, now’s the time to scroll on. You’ve been warned. Twice.

For the rest of you deviant friends: remember your first calculator? I sure do. And no, I didn’t use it to figure out fractions. I used it to spell out bad words. My favorite? 8008. Flip it upside down. Pure comedy gold. Middle school me was unstoppable.

Fast forward a few decades, and I’m still messing with words, though now I’ve upgraded from calculators to Siri. After taking a class at Notre Dame, I began embracing my Hispanic heritage more and incorporating Spanish phrases into my newsletters (La Paz de Dios is my go-to). I even dabble in Vietnamese to connect with our families at school. Not bad for a guy who once thought spelling “boob” was a linguistic achievement.

But let’s be honest: technology + language learning = endless comedy. Case in point, I recently asked Siri how to say:
“A seal pushed me yesterday” in French.

Friends, I was not ready. Whatever Siri spit out sounded like a cross between a bad sneeze and something you’d only say after dental surgery. I laughed so hard I nearly had to excuse myself from my own office. Do yourself a favor and try it—just not in a church, classroom, or anywhere silence is required.

So here I am: part principal, part heritage student, part 7th grader still giggling at inappropriate translations. And honestly? I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Because sometimes the sacred and the silly live side by side—and that’s where life gets really fun.

Question for you: What’s the funniest (or most embarrassing) thing you’ve ever tried to say in another language?