The Most Outrageous Thing Anyone Has Ever Said to Me—Professionally or Personally

After four decades in education, I’d like to think I’ve heard it all. Very little shocks me anymore—especially when it comes from the mouths of babes. But every now and then, someone drops a zinger that stops me in my tracks and leaves me with that classic deer-in-the-headlights look.

Let’s rewind to my high school and college years. I was gregarious, loved sports, was a good teammate, a loyal friend, and always up for a good time. But when it came to dating, I had zero confidence. Maybe it was poor body image. Perhaps I was waiting for a growth spurt that never came. I topped out at a towering 5’4¾”. I was often drawn to women much taller than me—let’s just say, not exactly matches made in heaven. Still, my personality kept me in the game.

In college, I fell head over heels for a beautiful young woman from Mission, Texas. She still holds a piece of my heart. The first time I saw her walk into a room, it was like a movie—everything else faded except her. This happened for weeks until one day, she walked right up to the table where I was sitting with my Kappa Sigma brothers and said, “Are you going to ask me out or just stare at me all day?”

That line hits me every time I hear the song As She’s Walking Away by Zac Brown Band and Alan Jackson. There’s a verse that goes, “When your heart won’t tell your mind what your mouth should say.” Truer words have never been spoken.  

Spoiler alert: I asked her out. She said yes.

But then came the line that stuck with me for life. After a few dates, she said, “If you were a few inches taller, we’d be raising babies together.” Oof. Not life-shattering, but definitely life-shaking. A beautiful woman had chosen to date me, start a relationship with me, and then ended our future because I wasn’t tall enough. That was a reality check I didn’t see coming.

Fast-forward to my first year as a principal in 2001, after 16 years in Catholic education. I had the privilege of working with a veteran group of women who had dedicated their lives to the ministry. Before I arrived, the school was run by a trio of self-described “domination women” in Lemay. I observed some practices I couldn’t fully support and said, “We can be better than this.”

That’s when I got hit with the first truly outrageous professional line that changed my course as a coach, mentor, and leader. The lead teacher looked me in the eye and said, “Honey, we’ve got this covered. We just need you in the office to be eye candy.”

Now, I’m no John Merrick (the Elephant Man), but I’m not exactly fashion model material either—unless you’re into the Danny DeVito type. My response? “The hell I am.” From that moment on, we had an understanding. I was the uncontested boss.

Over the years, I’ve been called every unkind word in the book—in multiple languages. I’ve weathered more “f-bombs” than I can count. My favorite comeback when someone calls me a “Son of a Beach”? “I didn’t know you knew my mother!”

So now I turn the question to you:
What’s the most outrageous thing someone has ever said to you—personally or professionally?

How did it affect you once it was in the rearview mirror? Did it change you, challenge you, or maybe even empower you?

I’d love to hear your stories. Let’s share the moments that made us pause, laugh, cry, or grow.